They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so enjoy this 32,000 word essay on Vietnam.

 My first stop on The Great Adventure was Hoi An in Central Vietnam to meet up with Nik and Danny. Unfortunately, it was pretty much underwater and rained the entire time. Locals were not phased – roads instantly turned into rivers, Venice-style, with boats waiting in the wings to replace motorbikes.

My first stop on The Great Adventure was Hoi An in Central Vietnam to meet up with Nik and Danny. Unfortunately, it was pretty much underwater and rained the entire time. Locals were not phased – roads instantly turned into rivers, Venice-style, with boats waiting in the wings to replace motorbikes.

 One positive from Hoi An, we got tailored matching banana outfits made in one day for 15 bucks each. And the small banana squad was born.

One positive from Hoi An, we got tailored matching banana outfits made in one day for 15 bucks each. And the small banana squad was born.

 Old Quarter, Hanoi, Vietnam.

Old Quarter, Hanoi, Vietnam.

  Our walking guide said, if you haven’t seen Turtle Tower at  Hoàn Kiếm Lake , then you haven’t been to Hanoi.  He also said it was good luck if you saw a turtle out on the island, but I'm pretty sure he was fucking with us.

Our walking guide said, if you haven’t seen Turtle Tower at Hoàn Kiếm Lake, then you haven’t been to Hanoi. He also said it was good luck if you saw a turtle out on the island, but I'm pretty sure he was fucking with us.

 Our first night we walked around the lake, Turtle Tower was lit up and the streets were closed around the lake for families to eat and ride hover boards, strangely enough.

Our first night we walked around the lake, Turtle Tower was lit up and the streets were closed around the lake for families to eat and ride hover boards, strangely enough.

 Sunset over  "hipster hanoi' as seen from Standing Bar, my favorite craft beer bar in the city.

Sunset over  "hipster hanoi' as seen from Standing Bar, my favorite craft beer bar in the city.

 Vietnamese wedding chicken in a Hanoi market. No explanation needed.

Vietnamese wedding chicken in a Hanoi market. No explanation needed.

 The Furbrew board in Hanoi at X-mas. My favorite beers were Dồng-Hương, a boston IPA made with Vietnamese Rose, and Cà Phê Bia, Vietnamese egg coffee in beer form.

The Furbrew board in Hanoi at X-mas. My favorite beers were Dồng-Hương, a boston IPA made with Vietnamese Rose, and Cà Phê Bia, Vietnamese egg coffee in beer form.

 But why male models? Nikola staring off into the distance as he does on our motorbike ride to Ninh Binh.

But why male models? Nikola staring off into the distance as he does on our motorbike ride to Ninh Binh.

 Sunset at Tam Coc, Vietnam. We took a romantic boat ride for three.

Sunset at Tam Coc, Vietnam. We took a romantic boat ride for three.

 Aaaand here's us on the boat. Our badass boat driver is ROWING THE BOAT WITH HER FEET.

Aaaand here's us on the boat. Our badass boat driver is ROWING THE BOAT WITH HER FEET.

 Coming out the mouth of a cave by boat at Tom Coc. Reminds me of a Rorshach test.

Coming out the mouth of a cave by boat at Tom Coc. Reminds me of a Rorshach test.

 We haggled for Christmas decorations in Christmas Village, a street in Hanoi that was exclusively selling Christmas decorations.

We haggled for Christmas decorations in Christmas Village, a street in Hanoi that was exclusively selling Christmas decorations.

 Blurry redeye photo that we sent to all the fams for Christmas Eve dinner. I'm smiling really big because we found a place that served wine after weeks of beer.

Blurry redeye photo that we sent to all the fams for Christmas Eve dinner. I'm smiling really big because we found a place that served wine after weeks of beer.

 Merry Christmas from my Vietfam! The group of backpackers that we met in Vietnam decided to rent an Airbnb and have a potluck style dinner on the roof of our building.

Merry Christmas from my Vietfam! The group of backpackers that we met in Vietnam decided to rent an Airbnb and have a potluck style dinner on the roof of our building.

 Season's greetings from the small banana squad.

Season's greetings from the small banana squad.

 Danny drinking rice wine at a restaurant a few feet from a passing train.

Danny drinking rice wine at a restaurant a few feet from a passing train.

 Ladies drank free at the hostel that night, so we had to.

Ladies drank free at the hostel that night, so we had to.

 Pretty sarongs in Mai Chau. One woman about to be married, said she needed to make these for the entire husband's family before the marriage could take place. I would clearly be single in Mai Chau.

Pretty sarongs in Mai Chau. One woman about to be married, said she needed to make these for the entire husband's family before the marriage could take place. I would clearly be single in Mai Chau.

 Reppin' the west coast on a bike ride through Mai Chau.

Reppin' the west coast on a bike ride through Mai Chau.

 Chasin' waterfalls in Mai Chau.

Chasin' waterfalls in Mai Chau.